What I learned from Ghostbusters...

When there's something strange in your neighbourhood you know who you're gonna call. Sci-fi and comedy genius in the same film? It can only be "Ghostbusters", arguably one of the funniest films ever made.

This is another film that defined my childhood. I can still recite parts of the script word for word and it cemented my deeply held conviction that Bill Murray is a goddamn genius and needs to be worshipped. I love you, Bill!

Here is what I learned from "Ghostbusters"...

You know who to call

Libraries are always haunted.

Never walk alone in a library. You will encounter a ghost. And the further away from the check out desk you are, the more likely you are to see a ghost. Of course with government cutbacks the ghosts will have to ship out and maybe start haunting some branches of Waterstones soon.

Shhhh...

The private sector expects results but you can bum around if you work at a university for quite a long time before they kick you out.
Clearly if you work at a university you can spend years doing spurious research and flirting with young students before your boss gets wise.


Scientists are cool and science can explain everything.

I am total dunce when it comes to science but this film convinced me that it is the highest calling. Scientists are brilliant. There is also something reassuring in the fact that there is an explanation when weird stuff happens. And there's always someone you can call...

Every workplace should have a fireman’s pole.

I would certainly enjoy Mondays more if my journey to accounts downstairs involved sliding down a pole. Staff motivation is very important.

If you hear growling from inside your fridge, don’t open it.

Indeed, if you hear growling from inside anywhere unusual like say a coat cupboard, it’s best to leave it. You really don’t want to know what’s in there.

Just leave it...

"Print is dead."

Almost.

Crazed cult leaders should not be granted planning permission.

They will only build a giant gateway to hell and you’ll have a right mess on your hands in a few years.

Potential disasters should always be compared to cake products.

Baked goods add a level of tension that other food just doesn't manage. Imagine the size of that twinkie.

The magic word is “please”. Always.
This is a rule to live by if there ever was one. But you still can't see the storage facility. 

If you don’t know how it works, it’s best not to mess with it.

Don’t press a button if you don’t know what it does. You could unleash an army of ghosts on an unsuspecting city and cause a massive explosion. 

Demonic demi-gods have surprisingly short memories.

“Are you the Keymaster?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

…

“Are you the Keymaster?”

“Yes, actually I’m a friend of his. He asked me to meet him here.”

Possession can be a valuable pulling tactic

Nerds who want to get laid by hot girls should consider demon possession.                                      It's clearly a great way to meet ladies and you get to participate in the biggest interdimensional crossrip since the Tunguska blast of 1909.

People who are possessed by demons speak with gravelly, deep voices and say really weird stuff.*
"During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you." Louis Tully. 


If someone you know starts speaking like this you can probably guarantee that they are hosting some kind of ancient demi-god.  


Sheena Easton is a favourite of Sumerian gods.

So, Gozer is a destructive Sumerian god with the power to choose any form. And the form Gozer chooses looks suspiciously like eighties singer, Sheena Easton. The only logical conclusion is that “9 to 5/ Morning Train” was a massive hit in Sumeria.

Sheena

Gozer the Gozarian

If someone tells you to empty your mind, it is physically impossible not to think about something weird and inappropriate.

Try it.

If your girlfriend turns into a dog, don’t despair.

With a bit of work she can still turn back into a sex kitten. Everybody has their off-days.

Sometimes it’s okay to cross the streams.

There’s a long list of stuff you shouldn’t do but sometimes, just sometimes you should break the rules. There is definitely a slim chance you will survive and everyone will love you.

New York is one of the best places on the planet.

“I love this town!”

If someone asks if you’re a god, you say yes.

Oh how I love this film!

*see also The Exorcist